Thursday, December 18, 2014

Far away from his usual genres, the blogger sings the blues about a household problem and his quest to solve it


Eyes on the prize: Don't bother about style.
 Mousetrap Blues

 (The most memorable blues songs are seamless blends of autobiography and art. About half of what follows really happened, half is made up. You can decide which is which, and sing it to any blues tune that seems to fit.)




When you go out shopping, better stick to the task at hand
When you go out shopping, better stick to the task at hand
      Don't set a person's talk right, as long as you understand.

Went to the hardware store, looking to win a fight
Went to the hardware store, looking to win a fight
      To rid our old house of the mice that come at night.
  
Chose my mousetrap wisely, was walking down the aisle to pay
Chose my mousetrap wisely, was walking down the aisle to pay
      When a man who worked there said in a friendly way:

“That trap works good, I’ve been using them myself” –
“That trap works good, I’ve been using them myself” – 
    He said that I’d picked up the best one on the shelf.

His free endorsement sure did make me glad
His free endorsement sure did make me glad
     But the way he said it struck me as a little sad.

“This trap works well, I’m sure you meant to say”
“This trap works well, I’m sure you meant to say”
      Then and there, I watched his smile fade away.

His lip curled slightly, and he fixed me with his eye:
His lip curled slightly, and he fixed me with his eye:
      “We got another one in back I’d like for you to try:

“Same brand, but bigger, and tough: I’m tellin’ you true
 “Same brand, but bigger, and tough: I’m tellin’ you true —
       It’s a trap for Grammar Nazis, oughta work REAL GOOD for you.”