Sunday, March 11, 2018

Venus of Willendorf: The escape from Facebook purgatory of a 30,000-year-old femme fatale

Venus of Willendorf, the Venus of Willendorf! The sculpture that Facebook found naughty: Her head is covered, her face is a blank, And her flank is not the slightest bit lank. Venus of Willendorf, that ancient unthrillin’ dwarf, A maid who today would cool lust: Her Stone Age suitors have crumbled to dust, And not a la mode is her large, sagging bust But to censor all nudity is a policy must. Says Facebook of Venus of Willendorf! We might all speculate why this is her fate After being herself for so many years Few people can see why her anatomy Should encourage a bunch, if any, fears. Venus of Willendorf, the Venus of Willendorf, That Paleolithic playmate When a man of today sees her mottled complexion It’s not likely he will get an erection! Venus of Willendorf, how could such a figure morph Into a new source of desire? She speaks of fertility from head to toe But you’d have to be Paleolithic to know What she stands for means she is ready to grow The population of Willendorf! This less than five-inch-tall figurine Is far too symbolic to be obscene. So let the offended forgive the offender For exhibiting her Stone Age pudenda. She has not survived just to greet you, She’s from ages before hashtag MeToo; She can’t be harassed, even if you tried: She was made just to be objectified. Venus of Willendorf, how could such a figure morph Into a source of desire? She speaks of fertility from head to toe But you’d have to be Paleolithic to know What she stands for means she’s ready to grow The population of Willendorf!